A downloadable game

Buy Now$20.00 USD or more

ENnie Nominated for Best Writing! 

IGDN Nominated for Best Setting!

The 3rd printing is now available in softcover from Hit Point Press! You can order it on the Hit Point Press website.

Visigoths vs. Mall Goths is a tabletop roleplaying game and dating sim about the conflicts and romances among the warriors who sacked ancient Rome and 20th century spooky teens, set in a suburban Los Angeles shopping mall during 1996. There are a lot of bisexuals.

Imagine a surreal combo of The Craft, Empire Records, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Clueless.

Funded on kickstarter in 24 hours!

* Easy to learn and video chat friendly.

* Detailed mall setting: 2 maps, 17 stores, and 24 NPC clerks.

* For 4-6 character players and 1 facilitator player ("The Mallrat").

* Rated PG-13

* Strange sense of humor required!

* Check out the game's 4-hour Spotify Playlist!

The plot structure of Visigoths vs. Mall Goths resembles an open-world videogame RPG. Designed for either one-shot or campaign play, each adventure episode offers several quests that you may choose to pursue (or ignore), and the mall setting is packed with many strange retro marvels to discover. Or you can just replay the game over and over to kiss all the kissable clerks.

Also a LARPer-friendly introduction to tabletop.

Bonus: you can also use this setting and these supporting characters (NPCs) in other roleplaying games! Expand your universe with goths!

* * *
Featuring writing and game design by Lucian Kahn of Dead Friend: A Game of Necromancy, art by Robin Eisenberg of Thrasher and Vans, Lluis Abadias Garcia of Dungeons & Dragons Retroverse, and Vee Hendro of Good Society, maps by Olivia Fields and Jackson Tegu, and adventure episodes by Liz Gorinsky of Goth Court, musician Mabel Harper, LARP designer and games theorist Jonaya Kemper, and runes expert Maja BΓ€ckvall of Civilization VI and God of War.

* * * 


β€œIt is the 21st century and I can finally get my Bisexual take on That Bit In The Mall In Bill'n'Ted and the world is better for it."

-  Kieron Gillen, creator of The Wicked + The Divine and DIE 

β€œA fun romp of a game that’s compelling for veteran roleplayers and casual gamers alike, employing comedy, nostalgia, and teenage drama."
- Sharang Biswas, Indiecade and IGDN winning designer of Feast and Verdure -

"I love this project for its inherent comedic genius, β€˜90s nostalgia, and because of how queer it is.”
Trin Garritano, Games Digital Outreach Lead at Kickstarter, in β€œProjects We Loved: 15 of Our Favorite Kickstarter-Funded Projects from 2019”

"VG vs MG combines everything I love: occult time travel, the '90s, and queer culture, with things I never knew I needed: an emo grudge tracker and a turf war that shouldn't really make sense but totally does. Lucian makes magic with his games always, and this is no exception."
- Hannah Shaffer, designer of Damn the Man, Save the Music! –


Buy Now$20.00 USD or more

In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $20 USD. You will get access to the following files:

Visigoths vs Mall Goths 2nd Printing.pdf 12 MB
Visigoths vs Mall Goths Printouts.pdf 3 MB

Community Copies

Support this game at or above a special price point to receive something exclusive.

Free PDF If You're BIPOC in the US

If you're BIPOC in the US, I have free copies of Visigoths vs Mall Goths reserved for you. Just take one if receiving a silly game would in any way improve your day. 

(20 copies posted April 17, 2021)

(20 more copies posted October 4, 2023)

Development log


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Hi, I, too, ordered the copy for Visigoths vs Mall Goths under the If I Were a Lich, Man Kickstarter. I've received the PDF but the physical book has not come. The initial order was placed in September, with a ship date of October. Did not receive tracking info or an order number. Reached out to Backerkit and Hit Point Press via email.

I've passed this message along to the folks at Hit Point Press. I'm confident they will resolve it soon, as last I heard, 99% of orders from the kickstarter have successfully shipped and they are working out the remaining errors.

Unfortunately, I as an author and designer have no direct control over any part of the publisher's shipping process. Hit Point Press is an actual publishing company and I am not an employee there. Thank you for your patience and understanding, and hopefully you will get your book soon!

(1 edit)

Thank you! I did get a response back and they are working on it.

I'm sorry if I made it seem like you had control over the process. I was not getting an answer from the publisher and I figured this might be the place to figure out if there was a shipping delay or not.

Please know I appreciate you and I am so so excited to get the book! I've already looked at the PDF and I'm really excited to bring Visigoths vs Mall Goths to our gaming table!

Thanks again.

Glad the shipping issue got sorted out. Enjoy the game!

I ordered the hardcopy as an add-on to the If I were a Lich Man Kickstarter, on backerkit, after the KS for Lich Man finished.

I got the PDF (twice?) but never got the physical book. To make matters worse, I've since moved and my address is locked on  the Backerkit page.

This comment list is the only means I have found for contacting the author. 

The publisher, Hit Point Press, will be able to answer your questions about BackerKit and shipping. You can email them at kickstarter@hitpointpress.com.

is there any chance of there being more comm copies for bipoc living in the US?

I just added some more. Enjoy!


Thank you so much! Hopefully I can play a session with my crew soon (schedule permitting).

Are pre-orders charged at the time of checkout or a few days before the book ships? 


The publisher, Hit Point Press, will be able to answer any of your questions about BackerKit charges and/or shipping. You can email them at kickstarter@hitpointpress.com.


Question on the BackerKit print version: will that come with PDFs or no?



Thank you!

Oy, I just realized that I completely skipped over the title and just read the description, and it was right in the title *facepalm*
One other question - when will the PDF go out if the physical version is purchased?

The publisher, Hit Point Press, will be able to answer any of your questions about BackerKit fulfillment. You can email them at kickstarter@hitpointpress.com.

Damn, this seems really cool. Too bad it's a tabletop. :(


If you know a good video game design team that's interested in buying the rights to make an adaptation, I'd be happy to make that happen for you!

Thanks. Sadly, the only people I know in the field are either amateurs or not interested. :(


Just ran my first game of this last night using the first adventure (Quoth the Raven, "Whatever.") and everybody loved it so so so so much. It was so easy to run, easy to play, easy to be ridiculous with. My morning has been filled with friends talking about it and telling other friends how cool it was. 

We ended with everyone getting a queer date for the Valentine's Skate, including the Visigoth Conqueror and Mall Goth Theater Tech going together after awkward admissions of feelings over a hostage negotiation (as the Mall Goths had taken Brunhilda hostage in retaliation for Raven's kidnapping). 

It was amazing. <3


i love visigoths, they invaded the roman empire along with the ostrogoths!


I found out about this game from Fandible a few years ago. When I found it hanging out inside the Racial Justice and Equality Bundle, I downloaded it immediately! I've run it twice so far, with so much enthusiasm from my players each time. There's so much silliness to be had, so many different characters to romance, and oh so many puns. We still mention Goat Danny and Chri-spear-na Aguilara every once in a while, and I have a feeling that more Goth games are in our future.


I ran The Little Mx. Scare-All Pageant adventure with a group of six a few weeks back and we all had a blast. It involved a lot of Visigoths flirting with Mall Goth-aligned clerks, fainting goat drama, and queer accessorizing. And someone wrote a full poem for the pageant at the end! 

It was my first time playing or running the game, and I'd run it again in a heartbeat: extremely manageable and extremely fun. 


I played this as part of my Discord-based birthday activities yesterday and loved it! We lost a player partway through and wound up having a much more collaborative Goths experiences, which was still incredibly fun and silly in all the ways I wanted. As a bisexual medievalist, I was all for it!


Speaking personally, this game is so much fun to run. Speaking for my players, they absolutely loved it! So much laughter and excitement at the table the whole game. It is quick to learn and teach, and also has great replay value.


Played a session of this game last summer and it was an absolute delight! So much nostalgia and EXCELLENT pun power. Can't wait to play again at home!


This is such an indulgent game, which is immense praise! It was a joy to dive into this world in our convention game at Big Bad Con. The Visigoths are melodramatic, the mall goths are melodramatic, the PUNS oh my goodness the puns. Every second of the game felt like the best moments from every 90’s teen mallrat romcom put in a blender with a medieval fantasy soap opera. It was joyously queer & superbly over the top. The game comes with the mall setting completely fleshed out, with punderfully named stores and shop clerks you can’t help falling in puppy love with. We played one of the premade scenarios in our game and it was a blast! 

I cannot wait to play this game again, I adore it!